Repartee and Insults from a bygone era

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still
valued, before a great portion of the English language was taken over by
American slang and curse words and got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to
mention waving middle fingers.

Enjoy....


The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my
husband I'd give you poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink
it.'

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli,
'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'


'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' -
Winston Churchill


'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.' - Winston Churchill


 'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure. 'Clarence Darrow


'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary.'
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).


 'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)



'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
it.' - Moses Hadas


'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it..' - Mark Twain

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' - Oscar
Wilde

 

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend....if you have one.'

- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill


 'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is
one.'

- Winston Churchill, in response.


'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' -
Stephen Bishop

'He is a self-made man and worships his creator..' - John Bright

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.' -
Irvin S. Cobb

'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.' -
Samuel Johnson

'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' - Paul Keating

 'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' Jack E.
Leonard

 'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge.' - Thomas Brackett Reed

'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.'  -
Charles, Count Talleyrand


Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?'
- Mark Twain

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.' - Mae West

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'  -
Oscar Wilde

'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support
rather than illumination. ' - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


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