AMUSING HEADLINES - READ ALL ABOUT IT!

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
DEAF MUTE GETS NEW HEARING IN KILLING
POLICE DISCOVER CRACK IN AUSTRALIA
STIFF OPPOSITION EXPECTED TO CASKETLESS FUNERAL PLAN
CHINESE APEMAN DATED
TRAFFIC DEAD RISE SLOWLY
WILLAIM KELLY, 87, WAS FED SECRETARY
NATION'S HUNGRY ATTACK MEESE
MILK DRINKERS ARE TURNING TO POWDER
SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED
MAN HELD IN MIAMI AFTER SHOOTING BEE
THUGS EAT THEN ROB PROPRIETOR
NEW AUTOS TO HIT 5 MILLION
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
MRS. RYDELL'S BUST UNVEILED AT NEARBY SCHOOL
KIDS' PAJAMAS TO BE REMOVED BY WOOLWORTH
N.J. JUDGE TO RULE ON NUDE BEACH
MAN IS FATALLY SLAIN
CHILD'S STOOL GREAT FOR USE IN GARDEN
CAUSE OF AIDS FOUND - SCIENTISTS
BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS
MAN EATING PIRANHA MISTAKENLY SOLD AS PET FISH
STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE
FINE YOUNG MAN CONVICTED OF MISDEMEANOR
CHILD'S DEATH RUINS COUPLE'S HOLIDAY
BLIND WOMAN GETS NEW KIDNEY FROM DAD SHE HASN'T SEEN IN YEARS
DEATH CAUSES LONELINESS, FEELINGS OF ISOLATION
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE
SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS
FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE
IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS
EYE DROPS OFF SHELF
TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS
SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM
ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
PLANE TOO CLOSE TO GROUND, CRASH PROBE TOLD
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES
2 SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS IN CHECKOUT COUNTER
KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS
DRUNKEN DRIVERS PAID $1000 IN '84
WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST A WHILE
ENFIELD COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMOCIDE
Textron Inc. Makes Offer to Screw Company Stockholders
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charges
STUD TIRES OUT


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